Many, Many People Are Stupid

This guy came into the office today with an enormous American flag/eagle/purple mountains majesty/death from above thing on his back. It was a fucking mural. He must have paid thousands to have that done, just for me to laser it off. But I guess he’s back from Buttfuck, Iraq and he gets the shakes whenever he sees it in the mirror, and I can respect that, but dude, what did you think, the little Iraqi kids were gonna see that eagle with biceps the size of their heads and just go all weak in the knees for democracy?

Zap, zap goes the laser. Make an appointment with Stephanie for another appointment when you’re healed up.

Stephanie. I hired her because she’s got that thing going where she looks all wholesome and Kansas and Presbyterian and has this smile like a commerical for breakfast cereal, but she’s got seventeen facial piercings and Maori flensings all over her neck and up across her jaw. Unremovable shit, that. Freaks people out. I guess that’s not a sound business strategy, but I think it’s hot. And she sounds like a Time/Life operator on the phone. Cheerful as fucking detergent.

And yeah, she maintains the website, so she probably reads this, but it’s not really a secret. I’m not smooth.

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