I <3 Mom

Two “Moms” and a “Ricky + Jenny Forever” today. I swear to fucking god.

Speaking of Moms. Mine wants to move in with me. She broke a hip a couple of years back, staining the back deck. My mom is an idiot like that. She never stops building shit, or sanding it, or fixing it. She was born with a lever up her ass. Once when I was like, nine, she got this whole blacksmithing forge thing set up in the back yard and made fireplace pokers to sell to tourists. She gave up after a summer, but the forge is still back there, all covered with ragweed and raspberry vines now. I keep offering to break it down and sell it for parts, but she says she’s gonna go back into the poker business someday. Whatever, she’s like eighty.

Point is, she was staining the new deck she fucking built, right, and slipped and broke her hip. She’s walking, now, with a cane, but that took awhile. So she wants to sell the house and move in with me.

I told her I didn’t have room for the forge.

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